For your infor. , tis is a Past blog .... all the postes are bout the past ... if u interested ??? you can read but my new link is : www.broken-magic-.blogspot.com

enjoy ^__^ ..... warn you first , tis blog's posts are kinda sad ....

hiee !!!! its has been days when i post my last post ... hmm ... nowadays not realli in the mood ...

anyway ... now got mood to rite le ^__^ ... today is a special day ...
1) lingxuan and cat cum me hse and study ... but .... hai ... (further details below)
2) next week is a CA week ...
3) got scolding frm my ma (further details below)
4) slept for 6 hours and i'm not tired ... haha ...
5) discovered how WEAK my A maths is !!!! -0- .. hai


LST : frens came over ...

hmm ... at first i thought it will be quiet good that they come over and we will be diff frm others , study instead of being distracted by other things ....

after they came , we settled down for rd 1 hour , tok bout amaths Qs .... goin quiet well ... then we stop and then .... ... ........ ...... . ......... ....... .....

I NO MOOD TO TOK LE LAR !!!! BROKEN BY MY MOTHER !!!!! ARGGHH !!

hai .... we shld not hav played mahjong !!!! T-T ... sorry frenx .... i tink u all can't cum my hse le ... till o levels bah .... is jus onli a game lor ... then she there nag like hell ... say wat , "u tis yr olevel le lei !!! u wan to .... " i hate her expression on her face !!! damnit shit !!! .... T-T .... everytime i get scolding , my whoel body every every tight .... even my lungs .... i can't breathe properly ... or shld i say ... no matter hw i breathe , i can't make myself relax .... i felt veri very tight ..... i can't stand tis feeling .... I HATE IT !!!!

i said i wanna go community center to play badminton .. .that time islike , i felt that i'm realli damnit tight up with my hmwk ... and i can't relieve teh stress ... but after having the PE lesson of badminton , i felt better ... soo is aid i wanna go play badminton at community center .... but u noe she say wat "u O levels le lei ... dun anyhw run la !!" .... ARGGHHH !!!!! DOES SHE WAN MI TO BURST INFRONT OF HER THEN SHE HAPPY ??!!! ... i not like blaming EVERYTING on her ... but at least give me summ freedom to do sumting , to make me feel happyand relax ... i didn't say that everyting she say is bullshit ... but i noe , i noe tis yr is veri important ... but she can at least give me sum .. ... . ... hai ..... i agree tat the mahjong ting , i'm wrong , i shld not hav play ... but wat u wan me to do ?? 3 of them say wanna play ... dun u noe that there is such thing called INFLUENCE ??? if i say , u hav a veri great chance to relax urslef ... will u give it up ?? or maybe , a chance to make urself happy ... will u give it up .... maybe to adults, they will .. cox of children ... but hey ... u noe wat ??? I'M STILL A TEENAGER !!! of cox , after solving a daMN A maths Q , which i redo for 4 times , still can't get the ans .... i felt tired ....

Aiya ... tell her oso no use ... she will understand mah ??!!!!
she onli noes that STUDY IS GOOD FOR ME , STUDY AND STUDY AND STUDY IS VERI GOOD FOR ME .... STUDY .. STUDY .. STUDY !!!!!!!!

ARGHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I TELL U ... MAYBE SUM DAY , SUM DAY I WILL REALLI BURST OUT INFRONT OF HER ... i dun noe when it will be ... but i noe it will happen !!! IT WILL HAPPEN ...

T-T ... i realli can't stand her sumtimes ... i felt ... i felt that ... i'm like being strangled by her hands .... i can't stand it ... T-T ... 55 .55....


sorrie bout not sayign bout today ... i realli dun hav the mood le ...

hie !!! soo in the high mood now ... haha ... jux came back frm sch , er ... not realli la ... i was released rd 10 bah ... now at hm ^__^ dad fetch me ...

anyway , bout the superteen course ... there is sooo much to say !!!! i dun noe hw to start !!!! omg !!! but its damn nice even though i get pissed off when sumtimes the lecturer teach too fast but i still enjoyed it !!! ^__^

well .... first few hours in the day its all dry ... theroy all the way + sum jokes of course ... then it cums to the end part ..... i dun noe wat that calls but its all about imagination ... !!! sood amnit cool man .... wenjun step out and be the " white hamster" and the lecture name , ken , soo call "hypnotise" him saying his a piece of steel or sumthing like tat ... haha .... then two boys lift him up , the upper part of the body on a chair , legs on another chair ... and u noe wat , middle , nuting at all ... and he supported there without any help..

hm ... then ken continues ... jessie to take off her shoes ... then ken caryy her up and stepped on wenjun !!! STEP !!! then she stood there for rd 4-5 seconds , she came down , of course with the help of ken .... then ken sat on wenjun !!! SAT down !!! with his bout legs up lei !!!! rd 4-5 seconds , he stood up ... then he slowly "de-hypnotise" wenjun ... then he so call "came back" ... haha ... then ken say , " jus now i see u veri striagth soo i try pushing u down ... and u see the bag there " , pointing at vincent's bag , "and i put the bag on u " ... then he was like "0_0 realli" ... of course everybody say no la .... then he was told bout the truth ... haha ...

anyway , its shocking that a person's imagination can control a person's body ... haha ....

then dinner , ate rice blah blah blah +++

then the clossing ceremory cumes ... we keep clapping until most of our hands turn red when the adults arrive ... cox we r told to do soo .. haha .... anyway ... then ernes start saying bout the theroy he taught us to the adults ... then he started toking bout his father ... sad ... jessie cry first ... then when the story cums to the part when he say his father died , i cry then cta oso cry ... then u noe wat ?? huiyi keep telling mi :"dun cry lei ... why cry" .... ahh , u sacre u will be affected and start crying rite ... then dun look at us la .... hw do u expect me to stop my tears ... they are like water flowing lei ... haha .... -.- .... hai ... anyway , we hav the chance to got to ms chia , hug her and say sorry ... and i did .... haha ... i hug ms wang oso .... hmm ... then hug my frens .... blah blah la .... at the end , lester cry ... he say when he hug his mother then he start crying ... T-T .... hao gan dong wor .... haha .... aiya !!! mani ppl cried la.... dun be shy ... but for the guys , be shy .... cox one phrase , lan ren lu xue bu lu lei ... tat mns , man bleed but dun cry .. .aiya !!! sumting like tat la ... haha ^___~ ...

till the end , i shake ernes's hand and hug him ... ok in the fren fren type kk ... when i tell my sis she like "wahh wahh!!!" .... -__-" ..... i really like his lesson ... i enjoyed myself ... ^___^V ...


on top of all this , of course , we canot forget the main reason for this course .... its bout studies ... hmm ... maybe i will start doin my spider grams now ... !!! kambateh !!!


nex time then i tok botu why neva call me parents cum ... ahha .... veri late le !!! @_@ ... gtg sleep !!! bb

hiee ... let me summarize the superteen course today and yesterday ... hmm ... now bcox of all the crying my eyes are like @_@ ... soo painful T-T ....

anway bout yesterday , monday , superteen course :

its quiet dry yesterday ... all the theroy and all that , but alot of "jokes" for us to laugh so to be awake ... haha ... we learnt bout wat is inside human brain , hw to study effectively , spidergram ... hmm .. .at rd the end of the lesson , the lecturer assign us diff chapts to do a spider gram for every grps of 3 ... erm ... his aim is to finish all the subjects that is in o levels ... but many dunw anna participate .. soo he veri pissed off ... poor ting ... but my grp did chemistry on metals ... huge chapt man ...

Bout today :

hmm ... many say that we will cry ... at first i said , i won't cry de la ... but in the end , i came hm with @_@ ...... soo painful now .... hardly can open them man, haha ... at first , the lesson is OK, about speed reading .... hw fast most of us read and after that is "thoughts affect u greatly" then here cums the parents issuse tings ... the lecturer tok bout hw hard mother give birht to us ... and BLAH BLAH BLAH .... then almost everybody cried T-T ... soo sadening .... haha ... actaulli we are supposed to be like find ourselves in this practice but in the end , i cried bcox i felt sorry for sumtings i did to my parents and erm ... i'm touched by the lecturer's story ... haha ....

after all tis , we hav hmwk , write a letter to the person in the frame ... i oso dun noe wu they saying when some of my frens say ... "wat u see in the mirror ??? urself la !!! " .. .haha ... then i noe ... lol ...

anyway , lots of thigns to do man !!!! great ... mux redo spidergram -.- .... hai ... nvm .... gtg do work !!! bb

**NOTE**
i still dun regret wat i worte in my previous postes ^__^ ... i still tink that my points is still with me ...

hie ... ok ... after the " toking session " witn my cousin and fren .. thx for everyting ....

anyway ... bout the topic today , i was about to rite this post after watching Kim Sam Soon .... alot of tings to say :

hhmmm . first ... theres is no " forever love " in tis world ... but if there is , they are considered as RARE cases ... u noe why ??? ppltend to fallin love with others when time pass ....and if their age like frm 20-ard32 , they will tend to break up with their partners than go to the other one .... -.- .... cox they think they still got time ... but sum frm rd 35- all the way , they tend to stay in the old relationship without love and these ppl , especially women in this kind of relationship will normally look for money for happiness .... and men ... of course , affairs ... all tis are like the future ...

but about parents ... i asked my own mother ... i ask her ... u love daddy not ?? she say no ... but for us , she mux stay in this relationship .... i was not really touched bout that cox i feel that every parents shld hav responsiblity for their children ... if they dun ... THEY ARE BAD PARENTS , TO GIVE BIRHT TO US IN THE FIRST PLACE ...

well .... back to me ... erm ... i said no such word is bcox , i dun feel loved anymore ... even i noe my parents do LOVE me .... but i can't feelit anymore ..... i hav no feeling towards " LOVE " ... so , i said before , i tnd to look at money ^__^ which is the second thing that make my hapy ... third thign ... play like hell with my frens .... not all ... but sum who realli understand or noe wat i wan or maybe sumtime they oso like wat i like ^__^ ...


memories are jus memories not forever ...

Do you agree with my statment ??? ^_~ .... anyway ....

Adults :

when they tEnd to have a bad mood , they will tend to scold someone wu is younger than them ... am i rite ??? of course they will not scold elderies , unless they are those wu do not respect elders ... while , thats not my prob ... now , here i'm standing at the youngster side .... of course , cox i'm a youngster ......

u youngsters out there !!!! have u been scolded for onli minor things when the ADULTS are having a bad mood ?? i can bid with u almost alll youngster had this experience before .... who dun !!!

Worst !!! some parents who dun really hav education during their time will scold words like "you are stupid ahh !!!" or "why u soo (sa) de" or " #$%#@$ " ..... cox they dun noe wat to say .... understandable .....

As for educated teachers , they would probably so call " GIVE A PIECE OF HER MIND " to us .... while ... sumtimes it is the rite time to do that , but sumtimes its not .....

about i dun noe wats the date , but Ms ___ , shes veri upset with our flag day ting .... ok !!!'i'm not like saying "i neva do wrong lor" .... i noe ... i really slag bout that ..... and u noe wat cums nex ??? she there like vocano expolde .... everybody's expression was like ( - 0 - ) ' ..... neva mind ... ok ....

i tink is probably nex day or sumting like tat , its _maths .... hmm ... welll ... u noe wat happen ??? hmm .... huiyi ask her a question , hmm .... then she use words like "auntie ahh !!!! mux ... blah blah blah ... " then "you never even try ... blah blah blah ... " her tone is like .... i dun noe ..... bad ..... soo u noe wat ????

when huiyi's mood no gd , do u tink my day will be gd too ??? she will like hack care everyting , and her face for the whole day will be like [ -_- ] .... ok .... i'm not saying that she said all these is wrong .... but her tone !!! main ting , is her tone .... why can't she jux use sumting nice ??? isit tat you are still in the bad mood bcox u did not expected that the class top student will sumting like that to dissapoint u ??? omg !!! u adults already said .... ppl make mistakes ..... and didn't she stated that she will do better next time ??? why can;t u jux be more forgiving ??? control ur temper ??? if u wanna burst , buy a punchign bag at hm at punch until u siao , no one cares ... but instead u adults sumtimes unfairly treat us like punching bags when ur moods are not good .... even my mother oso like tat .....

to adults : dun tell mi u neva do it before !!!

sumtimes i really wonder are we here in this world for adults to scold ??? to be the punching bags ???

sumtimes rite ... i really wonder wat do adults tink ... or maybe i dun wan to noe at all .... cox for my own parents i already can't handle ....

anyway ... well .... i want to state sumting before i left .....

******NOTE******
THIS IS MY OWN BLOG , MY ONLINE DAIRY , I CAN RITE MY OWN FEELINGS , THOUGHTS HERE ..... AND IF U DUN LIKE IT , TOO BAD ... ... ...

hie ..!!! long time le hor ... erm ... not long la ... few days onli ... anyway , i will not upfdate daily but weeky , possible ^_^

hmm ..... i regretted last yr slacking soooo much T-T ... now too mani tings to do !!!! ahh !!!! but i still slacking .. haha ... dun noe wat the hell i'm tinking ....

anyway i dun wan to tok bout today la ....

ok .. .for hw many months i neva go eat fast food le .... today i went with cat, lingxuan , dora then we ...... blahblah .... ......

erm ... bout my title : attitude change , mainly is towards my parents ....

i discovered that i'm not that guai liao .... keep saying the opp. tings tat my parents say .... i dun noe wat happen to me .... but i dun feel like following their way or maybe i shld put it like tat , i dun like doing tings for them ... everytime i do tings for them , i will sure do sumting wrong thent hey will sure scold me ....

see ... even now i rite my blog oso against them .... i tink i'm " pan ni " le lei ..... how ahh ??? i try to solve tins prob but i can't !!!! i can't do it !!!! i keep telling myself .... i dun noe la !!!!! i will atuo becum like tat when i speak to them , do tings for them .... i dun noe wat happen to myself !!!!! i tried to be guai but .... i can't accept the tings they wan mi to do .... they keep nagging and nagging !!!! i noe they wan mi gd .... but realli veri irritated la !!!! i already stressed up with the time i hav now and then they r like making more stress up with tis prob !!!! T-T .... mani ppl say i becum pan ni le lei ... hw arr ??? even Lim oso say that !!!!

SIAO ... maybe is the way i tink :
- i tried to talk to them .... but everit ime i see them , i dun feel like even toking bout my sch lif e to them hw am i goin to tak to them eith tis kind of prob ???!!!

[everytime ppl called mi to tok to them !!!! i hate it when they do tat !!!! they will rite under comments :' u can try toking to them ' .... Eng teach , chinese teach ..... why they alll like tat de !!!! but do u ppl noe hw diff is it to do that !!!! maybe i feel that if i tel them bout these , they get hurt and get more angry then thigns get worst then my ma will start crying again saying : whatever she wanna say !!! do u tink that i neva try it ??? i tried !!! but after a few sentence she will start sayign hw we grow up , hw hard she bring us up .... I NOE I NOE !!!! I NOE U BRING US UP !!! BUT NOW WHO IS THE ONE SPEAKING !!!! WHO IS THE ONE WHO IS SAD AT FIRST !!!!WHO IS THE ONE WHO CAME TO U AND TOK !!!! WHY CAN'T U JUX LISTEN !!!! DUN GIVE ANY COMMENTS OPPOSITING ME .... JUX GIVE ME TOK !!!! AND GOT ANYTING TO SAY , TML THEN SAY AND SAY IT IN A NICE WAY !!!! THEN MAYBE I WILL CHANGE BACK .... why can't they jux do that ?? *sobsob*]

- no one understand my life not even my sis ....

- no one will noe my life bcux i can't tell anyone !!! i dun feel comfrotable toking to them ... cox they are close to my parents .... even if they swear they wouldn't tell ... i will still feel uncomfortable ... i wan a person wu i can trust alot ... or not related to me in blood .... like my frens ... but they seem to be like jux frens they always cuts in sumting when i wan to tok bout all tis .....
i jux need one person i'm close with , not in blood but close like frens .... wu would realli listen to me ... and jus listen finish wat i say ...... and jus let me cry .... hope that i can find one ....

- i feel that i realli need time !!!! TIME !!!
[soo stop nagging ard me !!! i noe wat to do with my studies !!!! do u tink that i'm STUPID or sumting like tat !!!!]

maybe u will say i hav the tings i wan ..... erm ... i said before bout bks ... cox its related to study and our future soo she buy for us .... tats all i can say .... and oso .... hp is oso the one ting that i buy usign my results ....

dsic man and everyting : i forgot le but comfrim is frm results
cd : pricless ... all frm pocket money , myself ...
price for results: $150
hp price : $98

for lingxuan , i noe u say before that even hw gd u get ur parents will not award with u anyting .... i agree that ur statues is ... err .... but at least u hav a sis who is at ur side .... my sis ..... dun tok bout her la ... she herself already can't independent le .... she dun even care for me , MOST of the time ....

frm today onwrads , i swear to myself i will try my damn best to study !!!! and i will get gd results ....


**note**
sorrie if i hurt sumone in this post k .... i jux wan to tok bout my views .... i hav no mning of hurting anyone k .... soo dun take it in mind plz ... SORRIE